Sunday

He who forms the mountains,

creates the wind,

and reveals his thoughts to man,

he who turns dawn to darkness,

and treads the high places of the earth--

the Lord God Almighty is his name.

Amos 4:13

Summer day one and two list

-Played in sprinkler and baby pool.
-Played outside most of day.
-Played in tree in lot next door.
-Mommy had to rescue K from tree next door.
-E had a friend sleep over (I guess life is more fair than he thought).
-Played in ditch full of water down the street.
-B lost her skyball over the hill by the ditch playing with neighbor.
-Neighbor bought B new skyball (that was not necessary but nice).
-E found a rock with some kind of crystal inside it.
-Decided to break the rock to share it.
-B cut her finger on the crystal (good amount of blood).
-Lemonade spilled on kitchen floor.
-Scrambled eggs and toast for dinner.
-Played outside til dark.
-Frozen yogurt pops for bedtime snack.
-No one in bed before 10.
-Sleepover still awake after 11.

Day one a success.
Day two looking good so far.

-Sleepover has not ended.
-Trip to farmer's market.
-Lunch at taco bell ($25, eaten at the park).
-20 minutes playing at playground.
-Back in the sprinklers again.
-Fresh corn on cob on menu for dinner.
-I am going to need to invest in more sunscreen.

Summer is looking good so far. They will get bored quick. Daddy better come home soon....

School's out school's out...

School's out for the summer. I keep hearing a song in my head that says that. I don't know the song but I can hear that part, and it may be a heavy metal song. Do you know it? Yeah I keep thinking the "teachers let the monkeys out" rhyme too.

I am glad school is out. I am tired. So tired of waking up at 5:50. Tired of making lunches and yelling at kids to hurry every morning.

But they have only been home from school for about 3 hours. I have already laid down rules for very little TV this summer. E has been complaining that he does not know what to do. E has also complained that it is not fair because B is already making plans to spend a day with one of her friends. B has spent too much time on the phone already. Can I do this? Can we do that? Sleepover? They called the other girl's mom like 3 times to ask her questions. Complaining, whining, begging, pleading. 3 hours.

It is going to be a long summer. I can tell already.

No BBQ, no pool, but still lots of fun

Jumping while wet is more fun.

Back to the sprinkler again...

And mommy says do not come inside until you are dry.

And so this is how they dry off and warm up.

Healthy Eating

I have been reading a lot lately about fake food and bad for you stuff. Jillian Michaels is going to kill me one way or another--if it is not with her workout then she will starve me to death by making me afraid to eat all my normal food! I bought her new book and I am really going crazy lately trying to be healthier with our food.

I have not bought bread for about 3 weeks. I am baking all of our bread and the kids love it. I found ketchup with no high fructose corn syrup and it tastes good! I have bought some organic crackers. I even went to the farmer's market yesterday and I don't know if I will ever be able to buy tasteless strawberries from the grocery store again.

The kids don't seem to mind this healthier eating yet. So far they have decided that "real food" tastes much better. They like "mommy's bread" better-- they will even eat the crust. The strawberries are the best they have had since they had fresh ones last year from Mamaw's garden. The organic bunny cheese crackers have been voted as better than goldfish. But the very favorite thing has been my substitute for gogurt (the yogurt in a tube).

You would think that all yogurt is healthy. But have you read the labels? I did not even have to read the label to know something was not quite right. The blue poop it causes decided that one for me a long time ago. I still bought it because B needs calcium since she won't drink milk. But now they have decided that homemade frozen yogurt pops are way better than gogurt. I found the recipe in Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook that I got from the library. This recipe is so easy and it takes about 2 minutes. I did buy some extra popsicle molds from walmart because I could only find 3 of mine. They have the popsicle molds with the snowcone makers right now so they are easy to find.

*1 cup plain lowfat yogurt (I bought the all natural nonfat kind)
*1 cup frozen berries thawed in microwave for one minute (strawberry is all we have used so far but tomorrow we are trying blueberry.)
*1/4-1/2 cup powdered sugar (she suggests the larger amount of sugar if you use raspberries)

Toss it all in a blender and process until smooth. Pour into popsicle molds and freeze.

Actually the recipe in the book is double everything and she says it makes 8. I use the amounts above and I get 6 popsicles.



Oh yeah, for lunch today I made cream of zucchini soup with zucchini from the farmer's market. B and E LOVED it--B said best soup ever. K never tried it, she was not hungry. E said it was really good and he says he does not even like zucchini although I think this is the first time he ever tried it.

My kids are doing very well with this healthy stuff. Probably better than me. Oh, sure it is my idea and I am the one in charge of it all. And while I ate the soup and enjoyed it very much, and I even made bruschetta with homemade bread, fresh tomatoes and fresh basil....for dinner I ate a bowl of ice cream. Coffee ice cream with chocolate syrup.

It WAS Breyer's all natural ice cream though.

Sunday

But from everlasting to everlasting

the Lord's love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children's children--

with those who keep his covenant

and remember to obey his precepts.

Psalm 103:17

Look what K can do!

More growing up here...

My kids may be at bit slow at learning to tie. I know many learn before kindergarten but I hate tie shoes so they don't have much chance to learn around here. I love velcro. I hate seeing kids with untied shoe strings. Even B has curly strings in her shoes.

But yesterday we bought some new shoes for summer. E and K both fell in love with converse. I think K's biggest reason was so she could learn to tie. She wanted us to teach her right there in Target. We waited until we got home though. And it took her maybe 15 minutes to get it, if that long. She practiced until she went to bed. Then the first thing she did this morning was make sure she remembered how.

Hopefully they both keep them tied. I don't think these would look nearly as cute with curly strings.

This and hormones too...I can hardly stand it.

My baby graduated from kindergarten today.

They performed songs. This song was about being the best little birdy you can be. Here she is being a dolphin.

She really did sing and do all the movements.

She is growing up on me. Sometimes I think it is a very good thing that we are not able to have any more kids. Days like this almost make me want to keep having them. Almost. I am way to old to keep having babies until I can stand the fact that they are growing up!

She does have 6 more days of school, so it is not official yet.

Sunday

My dear brothers, take note of this:

Everyone should be quick to listen,

slow to speak and slow to become angry,

for man's anger does not bring about

the righteous life that God desires.

James 1:19-20

A list so I don't have to be creative...

I have seen this list on other blogs for months. They fill it out usually at the beginning of every week. I just decided to do it because I am lazy and not have blogged this week....

For Today

Outside my window: it is raining and 65 degrees.

I am thinking: that I came in here to work out, not get on the internet.

I am thankful for: today being Saturday because I have been so tired this week (today I got to sleep til 8).

From the kitchen: nothing today, I am still eating the “fresh strawberry muffins" that taste like strawberry shortcake but the kids did not appreciate—what is wrong with them???? If muffins aren’t chocolate chip they won’t eat them. I did make homemade bread yesterday afternoon.

I am wearing: pajama pants and tank top.

I am reading: starting today on Francine Rivers’ book about Mary called Unafraid.

I am hoping: to do my workout after this. Trying to get motivated.

I am creating: ha! I am not creative.

I am hearing: the kids in the next room watching the Little Rascals movie on tv and them laughing like crazy (I love that sound).

Around the house: I need to do more laundry and clean the kids' mess in the kitchen.

One of my favorite things: hmm today I have to say lazy Saturdays.

A few plans for the rest of the week: well this week is almost over. I would like to take the kids to karaoke tonight and church tomorrow—but that starts a new week….

Okay this may be inappropriate...

I went on post today for my bible study. There was a car in the parking lot with a car magnet thing that I have never seen before. You all know the yellow ribbon magnets right? This one had yellow ribbons and some words. It made me laugh out loud.

It said "Se*ually frustrated for your freedom".

I am sorry I thought it was hilarious. Nothing personal in that statement. That is not something I would go around advertising or complaining about but it made me laugh. And the fact that whoever owned that car was in the chapel was funny to me too.

Yes, I am easily amused.

A recipe

For Mother's Day K's class made a cookbook. You may have seen these before. They are adorable. The kids tell the teacher the recipe and they write it down.

A couple of my favorites include "hot dogs" with 1 fish 10 pieces of bread and catsup and cookie dough that has "nothing" for ingredients and says to get the dough at the store and cook it for 8 or 9 hours.

I make "cookie bars" often. Everyone loves them. Here is K's version of the recipe (and no mine does not have any nuts). Enjoy!

Cookie Bars

6 cups nuts
5 cups chocolate
100 cups sugar
Maybe some honey

Mix it all together. Put it in the oven and cook for 30 minutes at 5 degrees.

Happy Mother's Day!

The Invisible Woman by Nicole Johnson

It started to happen gradually.

One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, “Who is that with you, young fella?”
“Nobody,” he shrugged. Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, “Oh my goodness, nobody?”

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family like, “Turn the TV down, please,” and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, “Would someone turn the TV down?” Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We’d been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, “I’m ready to go when you are.” He just kept right on talking. I’m invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I’m invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?”

I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.”

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum ma cum laud - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She’s going¸ she’s going¸ she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.

It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.”

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

In the days ahead I would read—no, devour—the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals—we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.”

And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it there.”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
*****
I am so thankful to BE a mother. I am so grateful to HAVE such a wonderful mother--she taught me how to be one.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you "invisible women". God Sees.

Comments

I just have to tell you all that I LOVE your comments! They really help me to know who is reading and what you think. And sometimes you crack me up--like Steve yesterday. I am not sure if I have ever heard that expression about the back side of a pillow and I laughed out loud! And, by the way, yeah I could be fine with B having a career as a Christian singer!

Even though I have a stat counter and I know that about 5 of you come me visit almost every day, sometimes it feels like no one is reading. So keep the comments coming, please!

Amy mentioned having trouble commenting and I know Mamaw P has had trouble before, is that still a problem?? You don't have to have an account you can just be anonymous and then sign your name. If you are having trouble, please email me and I will see what I can do.

Love you guys!

She's a star!

We went to Christian Karaoke Saturday night. It was not a busy night so B had her chance to be on stage several times. All I had was my cell phone camera so the pictures are not very good.

She does not look very enthusiastic but this was her first song. She got better. She sang a few times with E and my friend Kris' son also. I am not sure how many times they sang. B sang When I Call on Jesus, Redeemer, and Shackles by herself (there is probably more but that was days ago and I have a bad memory!).

I had to share her first onstage pictures. MaMaw P thinks there will be more stage performances. Karaoke is fine with me. Singing in church would be fine with me. As for being the next Hannah Montana...I don't think so!

She would be happy to sign autographs now if you are interested.

Sunday word

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,

along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;

I will turn the darkness into light before them

and make the rough places smooth.

These are the things I will do;

I will not forsake them.

Isaiah 42:16

I once was lost but now I am found.

It's not just the yard work.

I would not want anyone to get the wrong impression. I definitely miss my husband more often than when I mow the grass.

I miss him when the car or truck need something done to them.

I miss him when sink clogs or the disposal messes up and needs reset.

I miss him when the kids are acting up and I am ready to kill them. Or just want to let daddy handle the discipline for a while.

I miss him when a doctor or a dentist or a school psychologist tells me my kid has abnormal brain activity or a disc out of place or needs medication or could have a learning disability or could have seizures or may just be dehydrated or may not pass fifth grade or may need surgery or may need to wait on medication right now so we will wait and see. Or anything else that has happened with B in the last 3 months.

I miss him when kids wake up puking in the middle of the night.

I miss him when we have to make ER visits. Or even when kids think they might be broken and dying but are fine. And when they each need surgery at 6am and we have no childcare.

I miss him when the kids do crazy things. Or say funny things. Or learn new things. Or are just outside trying to shoot birds with a BB gun or build forts with leftover wood or hunt wild animals that wander into the yard or rig up swings by themselves. And when they ask hard questions.

I miss him when I am tired. I miss him when I am not tired.

I miss him when we go to church.

I miss him every time I cook dinner. I miss him every time I bake sweets. I miss him every time I make gravy and biscuits.

I miss him every night when I turn on the security alarm before I go to bed. I would not be doing that if he were here.

I miss him every morning when I make my bed and only my side is messed up.

Yes, I miss him all the time. I miss him doing things I don’t like to do or can’t do. I miss sharing all of the things that go with raising our children together and sharing all the things they do. I miss cooking for him and watching TV with him. I miss sleeping with him and hearing him breathing in the bed next to me at night.

I have never written about how hard deployments are. I hate to complain. I know things could be worse. I know women going through this for the third or fourth time. I married Luke knowing that the military is something he always wanted to do. I knew deployments were part of that and that is just how it is. I still don’t like it and wish he would never have to do it again. I know he does not like being away from us either.

I have had people tell me I am strong. People say they could never do what I do. It isn’t easy. I don’t feel strong. I don’t know how anyone who does not have God does it. The only strength I have comes from Him. The only way I have been able to make it through the last year has been by trusting God. The first time Luke was deployed it was unbelievably hard (3 kids ages 5, 3, and under 1). But this time is hard in different ways, the worst is knowing things about “over there” that I was naive about the first time.

The first few weeks he was gone I realized something about faith that has gotten me through the last 12 months. I even wrote it down and I found it a few days ago:

Faith is not about God answering my prayers or doing what I want. Faith is believing God will do all things for my good. His will is perfect, not mine. I have to submit to His will and trust Him in all things.

That can be very hard. It even scares me to type this while Luke is still gone. I will be so grateful when he is back home, helping me, doing things for me, doing things with me, sharing things with me, being here for me, and just being with me. I just pray that God’s will is that Luke would not have to leave us for this long ever again. I KNOW without a doubt that God put us together and meant for us to be together. Now I am just waiting for next month when we will be back together.

It's not just the yard work. I love that man.

Is the flu worrying you yet?

Yesterday I went to Walmart. I bought a gallon of bleach, a large tub of Lysol wipes, and air sanitizing spray.

And just in case they close schools and we have to stay home, I got 2 gallons of milk, 2 boxes of cereal, flour (to make my own bread) and ice cream (for a true emergency).

Of course now it is the weekend. All of the food I bought (except the flour) will probably be gone by Monday. Especially any junk food. I am not cooking dinner tonight. I mowed the grass and ran the weed eater today and I am half dead. If I never even see a weed eater again as long as I live I will be very happy. Too bad we are not allowed to have goats in our subdivision.

I don't know how I got the weed eater to start in the first place. When I had my one quick lesson on the weed eater, I was not paying attention. I did not want to know. Now I know that if I had listened (or if I had an instruction manual) I would probably know the correct way to start it and not kill myself. I was almost done when the string messed up and I had to turn it off and fix the string. I still needed to do the worst part of the yard against the house--the part that I cannot get the mower close to and also happens to have the healthiest grass in the yard. I was determined not to quit until I did that part. So I sat out in the front yard for about 20 minutes trying to get it started again. I know I was doing something wrong. I don't know what. I finally got it though. The yard looks very very good. It was not worth it though.

My whole arm hurts--my shoulder, my elbow, my neck. I kept trying to rest my elbow on it and kept burning myself. I hit a rock or something that hit me in the leg and made a cut with a lump and a bruise on my leg. My arm hurts so bad I don't care about my leg. My hands were numb for at least a half hour afterward. I am only able to type now because I look 3 Motrin and am trying to only move my wrists, not my elbow or shoulder!

Do you feel sorry for me? I do, but you could already tell that! I miss my husband. Very much. The grass is only one very small reason. Okay, today it is a big reason. :)

We still don't have a specific date, but only about 40 days at the most! I can start counting down by how many more times I will have to mow....